It's been a while...

To start off... I've been a blogspot slacker, and I really don't have an excuse. To make up for it, I'm going to write the best post ever. Here it goes:

Party Hats
While many of you may think that party hats are a great tradition that should be continued for generations to come... you're wrong. They are not only completely ridiculous looking, but they are a danger to adults and children everywhere. Notice the spear-like point of the classic party hat. Intriging? Maybe. Deadly? Definitely. With enough speed and the right trajectory, a party hat point could easily penetrate human flesh leading to loss of blood, infection (possibly staph infection), and, yes, even death. Imagine the effects of a simple head butt when party hats are placed on the heads of those involved. I can see the devastation now. Do not be fooled by the pictures of butterflies (when writing the word "butterflies" it occured to me that that is a very odd word. Do butterflies have anything to do with butter? No. I doubt they even like butter. And they most certainly don't make it. Butter churns are far too large for butterlies to handle. Oh well... I guess Adam knew something I don't.), flowers, cartoon characters, cakes and candies, or simple colorful designs that decorate this hazardous head-wear, which is just one of the reasons these hats are so stupid looking. They are weapons disquised as entertaining apparel to secretly injure young and old alike. So... during your next party, leave the party hats at Dollar Tree and enjoy an injury-free time.

Just another thing to worry about,
Robby