Going Home Tomorrow...

My license has expired and I'm using that as an excuse to go home for a couple of days...to see family and friends and to get a change of scenery. On a somewhat-related note, I was reading Through Painted Deserts tonight and there was this part about home and change and travel that I just love...I probably love it 'cause it's about road trips and perfectly mimics the way I would have explained our trip to Costa Rica if I were eloquent.

"We are traveling north toward Oklahoma and then, perhaps, the Grand Canyon. After that, we have no plans except to arrive in Oregon before we run out of money. We share a sense of excitement and freedom. Not a rebel freedom, rather, a deadline-free sort of peace. There is nowhere we have to be tomorrow. There is no particular road we have committed to take, and I suppose, if one of us could talk the other out of it, the canyon itself could be bypassed for some other point of interest. Tonight we are travelers in the truest sense of the word, a slim notion of a final destination and no schedule to speak of. We are simply moving for motion's sake.
Our plans were shared with friends, but few understood. "Going off to find yourself" was the standard interpretation. I don't think that is really our point. We are shaped by our experiences. Our perception of joy, fear, pain, and beauty are sharpened or dulled by the way we rub against time. My senses have become dull and this trip is an effort to sharpen them."

I think more than anything, I love that part of the book because it speaks to ideas and choices and lives that are not easily explained by our American perspective...driving without a specific destination, focusing on the experience rather than the outcome, choosing freedom and excitement over plans and safety. But when I stop and think, I realize I feel that way a lot of times. My life is not easily explained to those around me and I have become a master at giving explanations that don't explain anything. I wish I communicated more clearly to those around me, but in the end I smile every morning and every night because my life is alive. It is free and it is hopeful and it is full of joy, and while responsibility and security are a hundred times easier to explain and defend, I don't mind living like the 'traveler' that I know I am.

Some day I may settle down and start asking the 'how' questions (how do i make more money, get a house, support my family, earn people's respect, more easily justify my place in this world...) but I really do wonder if the 'why' questions aren't just so much more important.

In the end, more than adventure or drama or risk or pride, I just hope and pray that my life is genuinely testing the truth of Matthew 6:31+ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

its just hard to explain... - j(w)s