Takin' It Back

I used to write a lot of ridiculous things on this blog that were super random but hopefully entertaining (look back about a year ago, and you'll see what I mean. You'll also see that this blog used to have two authors. Myself and my best friend Jeremiah. I know he still knows the password, so he really should write something sometime). I just really want to bring back the stupidity that this blog once possessed. Though informative, the blog is lacking a bit of the humor and lightness of it's previous days. I will now remedy that.

Carrier Pigeons.

Why did that ever go out of style. I mean, seriously. I can't think of anything more fascinating than a carrier pigeon... except dragons. Did people honestly send notes and such via the dumbest birds in the world? Over half of all the messages sent must have ended up under some bridge somewhere while the idiot birds got destroyed by horse drawn carriages and wild foxes. Cause you know how much wild foxes love pigeons. It's crazy how much. I guess I just answered my question as to why this method of communication went out of style.

Perhaps a better questions is how did it ever begin in the first place? I've never seen someone with a pet pigeon, and it's probably because pigeons are extremely unintelligent... and they're just gross. How anyone ever taught a pigeon to fly from one specific place to another with a note tied to its skinny little leg is beyond me. How big were these notes anyway? I mean... how much can a pigeon really handle? And it's not like they had tape back then to make sure the note stayed securely attached to the bird. Maybe they used sap. Yeah. That's it... tree sap. You surely couldn't send any messages of true importance via carrier pigeons. The odds of the bird landing in mud or traipsing through a puddle had to be pretty substantial. Maybe it was just dumb messages like "don't forget to bring some corn home" or "your quilt is finished." Messages that, if undelivered, wouldn't matter too much. I feel sorry for the person who just got a carrier pigeon and hadn't learned how stupid they were yet. They send "don't come to visit. We all have the plague" to their family, and the family shows up. They all die, and it's all because of the dumb pigeon. I bet the pigeon wouldn't even feel sorry. Idiot.

And were there different pigeons for different destinations? As if one pigeon isn't bad enough, you now have to have a pigeon for family members, the doctor, the preacher, the grocer, your best friend, and a magician (people loved magicians way back when). Thats the bare minimum, and thats about seven or so pigeons. Miserable.

I hope this has made you a little more thankful to the postal service men and women out there. That wasn't the initial goal of this posting, but there you go. Thanks postal man. Thanks postal woman. I'm glad you're brain is bigger than a pigeon's.

Cause stamps are cheaper than replacement pigeons,
Robby