How To: Make a Pinata

Since I am now an expert at making pinatas because I finished my first one ever this week for our housewarming party, I figured it's time to let you in on the secrets of pinata making. If you're actually considering creating a pinata from scratch on your own, it is at this point that I will advise you to immediately stop thinking about that, drive to Hobby Lobby, Walmart, or Mexico, and buy a pre-made pinata for $15-$20 (or 2 pesos if you drive to Mexico, plus about $500 for gas... unless you already live in Mexico... in which case I ask "why are you reading this and how did you find me?"). However, if you're crazy enough to actually begin the process, just follow the simple steps provided below:

Round up some cardboard boxes in which you moved old books and knick-knacks, an old, yellow box-cutter (yellow not completely necessary, but helpful), some duck tape (honestly, any color will do, but red is preferred by 9 out of 10 pinata experts), crepe paper of various colors to fit your desires, multiple glue sticks (I'm not kidding... one was not enough for me), scissors, a coat hanger, and an iTunes playlist that has enough songs to play continuously for at least 12 or so hours.

Once you have all of that, press "Play" on your iTunes playlist and begin looking at the boxes for an extended amount of time trying to figure out how the heck you're going to cut the various pieces to create the pinata of your dreams. I chose a dragon shaped pinata (Free additional note: when you're making a list for your housewarming party on an Evite of things that will happen at the event, don't jokingly put that "dragons" will be present because someone will mention in their attendance confirmation that they can't wait for the "dragons" and you'll think it's a great idea to surprise and impress them all by actually having a dragon there). Slowly make very calculated and exact cuts to form the shapes that will create your masterpiece. Then begin taping the cardboard shapes together and spend more time staring intently at the figure being formed wondering where to go next. Finally, get to the point where you have it all figured out, cut the remaining pieces, tape them together, and then realize that you forgot to put the coat hanger in the pinata. Untape some of the pinata, insert hanger, and re-tape. You will now be at this point in your pinata adventure, and you'll be wondering what you've gotten yourself into:


Before you go any further, fill your pinata with the 3.5 pounds of candy and surprises you purchased. Make sure the hole that you put the candy in is only large enough to allow a few pieces of goody through at a time so that the process is long and arduous. Now that you've finished that, begin cutting small squares of crepe paper into piles until you think you have more than enough to last you a while. Apply glue to the area to which you will be putting the crepe paper. Wrap the square of crepe paper around your pointer finger, press onto desired area, and repeat. Realize the glue dries faster than expected and begin wrapping each square around your finger, rubbing it in the glue stick, and then applying it to the cardboard. Repeat this... over and over again. Then, realize that the "huge" pile of crepe paper squares you've cut is almost gone and you've only done one 8th of the pinata. Begin to wonder what you've gotten yourself into again. Now you'll be at this point (isn't this fun?!):


Take a break, think about all the other things you should be doing, then look at the unfinished pinata in front of you and realize the glorious creation it will soon be. Return to cutting out squares of crepe paper and applying them to the cardboard. Begin cutting slits in long strips of crepe paper and gluing them to the cardboard to expedite the process. Look at the clock and see that you only have 3 hours until guests begin to arrive to your party. Enlist the help of your trust-worthy friends in cutting squares and strips of crepe paper, glue like a fiend, and marvel at the amazing creature that is taking shape before your eyes. Look the pinata over, make sure it lives up the expectations in your head, put a few final touches on it, and then you'll be at this point:


Was it worth it? Probably not. Are you proud? Absolutely. Does part of you want to save it forever, but you've mentally prepared yourself for it's short existence, so you simply take a ridiculous number of pictures of it? Yes.

It's a labor of love and insanity that may lead you to tears, hysterics, fast-food binges, and old songs you haven't listened to in forever, but the look on peoples' faces as that pinata hangs under the bright light of a street lamp and then bursts open and spills it's goods for all will make every ounce of anguish almost worth it.



*Disregard the large wet spot on my shirt in that one picture. A water balloon had just been popped over my head. Don't worry... I dealt with the culprit harshly. She won't be doing that again.

I hope this helps, and I wish you luck,
Robby

Oh... and here's a video of me with my completed dragon pinata (I'm pretty sure I was delirious at this point... and I'm pretty sure I still am right now):