Reality And The Weird
Life is not as it seems. And life definitely does not always go as planned. Coming face to face with the reality of the world we live in is not easy, and there are times I've felt like I'm drowning in the depravity here.
If you had told me not long ago that I would be living in Huntsville for an indefinite amount of time working at a restaurant, I would have been pissed you had even thought that. Oh, how funny and humbling life can be sometimes. To say that the past couple months have been all that I've dreamed they would be is a hilariously ridiculous statement. However... is it exactly what I need for the Lord to continue to grow me? I'm still deciding, but I have a feeling the Lord knows thats a huge "YES." The situations I've been put in, and the challenges to my faith and ways of living and thinking about this life have forced me to really dig into myself and learn some difficult lessons (many lessons I'm still working through right now).
Lesson One: I'm Weird (Thank the Lord)
If you are a Christian, and you've never worked in the restaurant business, I encourage you to try it. Not because it's fun and an easy way to make money, but because it's extremely difficult physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This job has been one of the most trying, humbling and frustrating experiences of my life, but I'm so thankful that Christ has allowed me to go through it. My initial challenges were the usual fears of inadequacy and inexperience with the job of serving itself, but those were quickly replaced by the struggle of dealing with the reality and pain of this life through stories of the lives of my coworkers and by looking introspectively at my own life.
Most days I feel like some alien from another planet that has no idea how to communicate or form relationships with those around me. Gathering bits and pieces of the life experiences of those I work with, I began to realize how vastly different my story is from nearly everyone there. There is so much pain, deception, betrayal, and sin wrapped up in the lives of these individuals, and they don't even see the bonds that are choking the life out of them. At first I felt as though something was wrong with me that makes my experiences thus far in life so different from there's. However, I've realized that I am EXACTLY like every single one of them, and the only explanation I have for the difference is Christ. It is the saving grace of Jesus that makes my life weird to the world.
I'm sickened by the sin that has so fooled this world, but I think I'm disgusted most by how much of that sin is in me. It has been incredibly difficult to see how sin has taken so much from people, but the hardest thing is seeing that same sin in my own life everyday. I know that if I were to reject Christ and give into my human nature there is no doubt that I would fall into the snares laid out for all of us, and that fact terrifies me. However, I must remind myself that as Christians we cannot allow sin to reign over us. I think the key to conquering this fear of sin is realizing how great our God is and growing in our understanding of Him. It is a daily walk that will keep our heads above the waters of deceit and sin that can so quickly rise and sweep us away.
And there are definitely times when I feel as if the world we live in is a lost cause and sin is too great, but thats when I must remind myself of how much greater Jesus Christ is than sin, death, and anything this world contains. And when Satan tells me I'm sinful and weak, I will fully agree. It is the LORD in me that makes me who I am.
- Robby